CONVERSATION WITH JOZY: LILLIAN BUTELE KELLE ON BATTLING & SURVIVING CANCER

I decided to do a feature on this topic “Living with and Surviving Cancer” to create awareness of this disease through first hand experiences and perspectives of a Cancer Patient and a Cancer Survivor.  The interview is a part series that I hope will give an insight into the lives of those living with the disease.  In this first series I interviewed a brave lady and friend of mine, Lillian Butele Kelle. Lillian is 38 years old originally from Uganda, East Africa and now living in Las Vegas, Nevada USA where she has been based for the last thirteen years. I went to school with Lillian at Nabisunsa Girls Secondary School and most Ugandans will remember her as one half of the 1990’s musical duo Prim ‘n’ Propa  she co-founded with her friend and former miss Uganda Brenda Zobbo.

Over the years many of you have helped me raise money for Cancer Charities so when I learned that Lillian had been given the all clear from the disease, I wanted to talk with her and see if she’d share her experience with Jozyz Life and Style Blog readers.  Here is how our conversation went, I hope you find it useful.

 

Jozy: Hi Butele (we all called her that at school), thank you for agreeing to talk to me and sharing your story with my blog readers. Who is Lillian and what have you been up to?

LBK: Thank you Jozy. First and foremost I am a child of God then I am a mother of two beautiful boys and a wife to an amazing man.  
 

 Family time! Lillian with her two sons

Jozy: You have written a book entitled I Know Now It Was All For Good: Learning That Nothing Just Happens. From former Pop Star to Real Estate to Author and Motivational Speaker. Wow! How do you do it?

LBK: People know about me from my days of Prim ‘n’ Propa but I have owned a successful real estate business for eleven years. I also own a production company and I became a Motivational Speaker and Author after my Cancer diagnosed in 2011. The book reflects on my turbulent life’s journey (she tells of suffering Sexual abuse as a child, her battle with Alcohol and being Suicidal). I share my story so that some people can see themselves in it.

Lillian’s book cover I Know Now It Was All For Good: Learning That Nothing Just Happens by L.B.Kelle 

Jozy: What type of Cancer have you had and when were you diagnosed?

LBK: I was diagnosed with Stage Three Throat Cancer.

 

Jozy: How did you respond to the diagnosis?

LBK:  Shock and disbelief. My life flashed before my eyes literally. I cried for two weeks straight.

Jozy: Before the diagnosis, did you have any symptoms?

LBK: None whatsoever and that is what is so scary. I discovered the lump in my throat during a visit to the Spa when I checked in for a facial. The doctor told me it was a miracle that the spa lady found it because it had advanced. He said that if it had gone undetected for even six more months I would not have made it.
 

Jozy: How did you break the news to your family/friends?

LBK: My husband was by my side when I received the diagnosis so I didn't have to worry about telling him. It took longer to tell my family in Uganda mainly because my mother has high blood pressure and I didn't want to scare her. I told my big brother Henry after a few days and told him to break the news to my parents. He told them I was sick but didn't reveal the full scope of my diagnosis. He finally told them the day before I had surgery and begun treatment. 

Jozy: How did you get through the treatment?

LBK: By the grace of God! It was the most difficult thing I have ever gone through. I refused to project my fears into the future and refused to absorb the magnitude of what was upon me. I basically took one second at a time and one treatment at a time. That was the only way I managed because at times I felt like I was running mad, especially when I looked at my children and considered the possibility that I could leave them. I also did everything the doctor told me to do.

 Hospital

Jozy: Did you experience any side effects to the treatment?

LBK: Oh yes! Everything from Nausea, Vomiting, Weight Loss, Bloating, Sore Stomach, Voice Loss, Loss of Appetite, you name it, I had it .

 

Jozy: Did you get any healthcare support from the state or did you go it alone?

LBK: Luckily enough we have health insurance so we were able to cover a portion of my medical bills through that but we still had to pay a lot medically of it out of pocket. Add to that the fact that I was not able to work resulted into us being brought to our knees financially. Cancer affects everything in your life and I mean everything and everybody.

Jozy: How does the threat of recurrence affect your life?

LBK: It is always there but I speak against it in the name of Jesus. Like the other struggles I have faced before in my life I know that it came to teach me something and I think I have learned a lot from it in the last two and a half years. The thing about adversity is that the moment you learn the lesson it is over. If it comes back then I accept that God has a reason for it and he will help me deal with it just like he did before.

Jozy: Has having Cancer jeopardized your career?

LBK: My Real Estate and career I had before the diagnosis, YES! Because it crippled my ability to work the way I used to and it set me back a lot financially. But with regards to my spiritual career it has only enhanced it. I am a better person; I am a more conscious and more present person. I am a more compassionate person. Cancer in many ways has been one of the greatest gifts of my life.

Lillian with her parents and Maria Matembe at her book launch

 

Jozy: Did it change your perspective on things?

LBK: It most certainly did. When you look death in the face you can never be the same again. You suddenly realize how small you are in the larger scheme of things. You realize that your life is (and I don't want to sound cliché) but like a candle in the wind. It can blow out anytime. I used to walk around feeling like I was invincible. It took Cancer to show me that life is fragile and worth a lot more. Life is not just about acquiring material things, driving fancy cars, wearing fancy clothes and making the most money. We are here to make this place better than we found it by focusing on what matters and offering our talents to serve God and humanity. I was working seven days a week and really didn't even have time for my kids or my husband. I used to bring my work frustrations home and take it out on them. It was all about chasing the next deal and making the next ten thousand dollars but when I was laying on my death bed I don't remember praying for more money. Instead, I prayed for more time with my children and I didn't even have a good argument for why. That is when I realized how screwed up my priorities had been before I had Cancer.

Jozy: Any advice for anyone with Cancer?

LBK: Don't give up hope. The fight is 95 percent your attitude and 5 percent medication. Remind God of his promise that the spirit of death is not at work in us. Submit your will completely to God and ask him to work through you to be an inspiration for others. Stay diligent with your treatment but most of all keep a positive outlook that It all works out in the end for the good, no matter how it ends. 

Jozy: Any useful organisations and information sources you found useful?

LBK: Unfortunately I didn't really read anything about it because I didn't want to read any bad news. The one thing I did do was watch my diet. Eating vitamin rich food like leafy vegetables and fruit and vegetable juices helped me restore my energy and flash the radiation in my body. Eating a natural plant based diet is good for anyone with any disease.

Jozy: Finally! Do your kids know that you are a rockstar? You have been teasing us on Facebook and now the whole world wants to know, will there be a Prim ‘n’ Propa reunion?

LBK: The kids have an idea but bless them they can’t quite fathom it. And as for a re-union, LOL! Brenda and I have talked about it but us both being in Kampala at the same time is an issue because she now works in Nairobi and of course am here in Vegas but who knows what the future holds? Anything is possible.

Lillian performing in her Prim 'n' Propa days with friend Brenda Zobbo

 

You can get Lillian’s book I Know Now It Was All For Good: Learning That Nothing Just Happens by L.B.Kelle at Aristoc booklex in Kampala and online in print and ebook at Amazon.com

Look out for Part 2 interview in this part series of Battling & Surviving Cancer where I will be talking to a dear friend of mine currently fighting this disease.